The Art of Theft
by HAPPYLU
Summary: Chihaya x Jill · It’s a proven fact you shouldn’t talk to your biggest crush whilst wearing a dress. Even if it was a bet. ·COMPLETE·
1. Entryway to Insanity

The Art of Theft  
Chihaya x Jill – It's a proven fact you shouldn't talk to your biggest crush whilst wearing a dress. Even if it was a bet.

------

I knew it was all downhill when _Luke_ entered the café.

I mean, sure, he's an okay guy, but if he's any indication of how a good friend should act then declare me friendless. But of course, I'm watching him as he strolls towards the counter, humming a tune. His face has a smug grin— and I know that look _all too well_.

Like the time Luke dared Ose to dance the Macarena in front of the whole town. On the day of the cow festival. Wearing a cow costume. Everyone laughed, sure, but they weren't laugh _with him, _oh no.

I know his smug grin all too well, and it kills me that he has that look while staring me down. He approaches slowly, and I debate weather running for the kitchens or ducking behind the counter. It was too late however. He saw me.

"Chihaya, my main man," he coos as he orders hot milk. I raise my eyebrow and slowly begin preparing the hot liquid, pondering if I should add the Cayenne. My chef-skills go against it, and I curse myself silently. "How've you been?" he adds after a long pause, sitting down on the chair and making himself comfortable.

I place the cup of milk on the table, and lean over the counter. He sips it slowly, and I can't take it anymore.

"…Luke, what the _hell_ do you want?"

"Oh, potty-mouth Chihaya. We've got to wash that mouth with some soap."

I glare at him. I should have put the Cayenne in his cup. The look he gives me while taking long sips is nerve-racking.

"Alrighty then— you think I came here with a purpose…" he starts, and it is then when I notice he's carrying a big box in his left hand. It's sealed with a pink bow, and it's white as snow. I immediately focus on the box, wondering what's inside. "…And I did. You're as smart as you let on." he finishes.

"And you're as still as dumb. How is that working for you?"

"Geez, tone it down with the insults, okay? Otherwise I won't tell you why I came here…"

"You do realize I don't care any which way or another?"

"…Fine."

My head spun as I glanced down at the box once more. "Alright, you've got five seconds."

Luke's face instantly brightened, and he swung the last bit of hot milk down his mouth, wiping his hand with the back of his hand. I cringed in disgust as I picked up the dainty cup, running it over a nearby faucet.

"Mai tells me you're in dire need of money."

I stop cleaning off the cup, and place two angry eyes on him. Imagine the intensity of the big, adorable purple eyes that couldn't scare off pieces of wood. My outer appearance, I had to admit, was drastically different from my personality. My peach hair was set on top of my pale face, spawning wildly and held back only by a couple of barrettes. My soft amethyst eyes twinkle in the summer sun, and my clothes consist of my original waiter uniform.

Oh _yeah_, I looked _mean_.

"How does she know?" I finally answer.

"Same way everyone else basically knows."

I sigh. It was true that my café wasn't doing as good as it could have been, but I figured it okay. I could buy supplies, and serve happy costumers. I stared down at the faucet as I realized that was the _only _thing I could do; I had no surpluses. My curious eyes found his. "What are you saying?"

"Well, I've got five-thousand gold with your name on it."

My eyes widened. Never did it come across me how did he come up with the money, nor what he had to do to get it. All I felt at that moment was _greed_. I _needed_ that money.

"What do you propose?" I mumble, and my eyes flicker towards the box for a millisecond.

"Oh, nothing much. Tell me Chihaya, when is the biggest day of the year for this tiny café?"

"Summer the seventeenth. It's unofficially 'date night' where couples can come and have a good time." I automatically react. I've trained myself to do this long ago.

"Good, good. I wasn't expecting any less from you. Anyway… have you met the new farmer?" he says suddenly, and I blank out.

"I don't know what you're talking about."_ New farmer?_

"The granddaughter of the old farmer is a hottie. She's gonna take over the farm two days from now. Haven't you heard the news?"

It was true news spread rather quickly in this small, forgotten town, but it never did travel fast enough to get to me. Frankly, I didn't care for anything related to the village. Just anything pertaining to me. I quickly glanced at the calendar, scanning slowly for the date. It was summer the fourteenth. Date night was less than three days away.

"Yeah, so?" I grumble, still staring at the calendar.

He shakes his head and laughs. "You're so clueless."

"What's in the box?" I finally ask.

"Thank Harvest Goddess you finally said it. I was beginning to doubt your super skills, Chiyo."

I cringe. "Don't call me that."

"_Chiyo_." He states utterly, and with a quick swift of his hand, lifts up the box onto the counter and opens it. A mess of fabric pops out, and it takes me no less than two seconds to realize it's a _dress_. It's a beautiful dress at that, with all its pinkness and frills; it came just below the knee. It had a gorgeous bodice, the color of magenta.

I'm still as confused as ever however. "Do you want me to deliver it or what?"

"…On your _body_, yes."

Awkward silence fills the empty café as I stare at Luke, disbelieving. I shake my head and laugh. It was my turn to have a little fun. "I know it's a little late in our relationship Luke but… _are you gay_?"

He fakes laughter and pulls out the dress for me to see. "I want you, _Chiyo_, to wear this."

My eyes widen. He grins.

"_On date night_."

-----

Yes for chaptered Chiyo x Jill!

Reviews will be used as fuel for me to write. Please review:D


	2. Friends, Nothing More

**The Art Of Theft  
Chapter Two**: Friends, Nothing More

* * *

_He fakes laughter and pulls out the dress for me to see. "I want you, Chiyo, to wear this."_

_My eyes widen. He grins._

"_On date night."_

"You sonuva…" I whispered, and slowly shied away. I backed up tremendously, as if Luke had rabies, and he was on a mission to bite me. I automatically gulp as I hit the wall. He still has that smug grin on his face, obviously enjoying himself. "I'm not going to do it."

"Oh come on Chiyo. You need the money…"

"I need the money…"

"You want the money…"

"_I want the money…_"

"So, are ya' up for it?"

I sigh, walking up to the counter and leaning forward. "Not if you paid me double."

"How about triple?" he leans, and his face gets extremely close to mine. "This is one fiddle that says, 'play me'."

"T-triple!?" I gasp, and I do the math in my head. "Fifteen thousand gold!?"

"That's all I can go for, though."

"N-not a problem…" I whispered, and I imagine myself with all that gold. My eyes water. I give in. Hell, it was only for one day, _wasn't it_? Even if that day was the single most important day of the year for me. Even if it was the time I had to look the most professional because the _Gourmet _sometimes stopped by, and he would judge my café. He had done this last year, and I received an 'A' grade. After he had published his review in the local newspaper, my clientele had doubled. I had learned a few tricks since then, but I did wonder what kind of grade I'd get if the Gourmet figured I was a _cosplayer_ and my café closely resembled a _cosplay club_. 

I shuddered. "I… I don't know, Luke."

"Oh _come on_, Chiyo. Tell you what, and this is my final offer. _Selfish git_."

"…I'll ignore that last part."

"You see that '_Help Wanted_' sign on your door? I'll take care of that," he smiled innocently, and I knew he was up to something. "Last offer."

I thought about it. Money and help? Hell fucking yeah. "Alright, it's a bet."

"Oh, yeah. I'm not _finished_."

I raised my eyebrows. "What are you saying now?"

"You never agreed to hear my part B in this wonderful little scheme of mine. And now that you accepted part A, you have to accept this too."

"You fucking douche bag!" I yelled, pointing at him like a madmen. He leaned back on his wooden chair and sighed, shaking his index finger at me.

"You have to take a _girl_ to… date night. Dressed in your _pretty little skimpy dress_." He slowed down on the last part of that sentence, letting the words sink in slowly but smoothly.

I twitch, my temper skyrocketing. "Luke, I swear I'll bash your brains in and declare you dead."

"Oh dear. That would blood-stain your skimpy dress."

"_I'll risk it_."

"Anywho, Mai is available, isn't she? She's got a thing for you, right? There we go, easy date. And you'll be wearing matching dresses!" he placed both his hands on his cheeks and smiled happily. "Aw, how _cute_!"

"N-no… not… not Mai. Anyone but Mai…" I plead, and he shrugs.

"Everyone else in the village is taken. Unless you wanna go with someone like Gil."

"_Luke_…"

"Oh! Yes… hot farmer girl just got here. I don't suppose she's got a date," he winks. "And seeing how _you_ don't have one either, Chiyo-san, we make it even and it's happily ever after. Her farm is along the dirt path behind your café. …Follow it. Well, good luck!" he exclaims happily, and gets up off the chair walking towards the exit.

"Luke, why do you do this to me?" I mutter, hoping he wouldn't hear me.

"I have my reasons, Chiyo."

I roll my eyes. "…I-I'll see you there."

"It's a _date_."

* * *

Her "farm" is _tiny_.

I roll my eyes at the two patches of dirt that could be called fields if they were twice their sizes. There is a lone cow grazing nearby, and not much else. The cow seems content at its present state though, and I smile at it despite myself. There's a tree to the right of me, and I can see large oranges peering out through its leaves. I smile; oranges were my favorite fruit. 

There's a house staring at me opposite from the entrance, and it's shabby. Its wood was old and forlorn, and the windows were tainted black. There was a doghouse right beside it, though practically in the same state as everything else on this plot of land—

_Useless_.

"Oh! I-I didn't expect anyone here!" a voice exclaims behind me. I clock around and stare at a young girl, about my height. Her brown eyes twinkle with amazement at another person being here. Her short brown hair was adorned with a black ribbon, and the pale green that emitted from her clothes had a charm.

_So this was the "hot farmer" Luke had been blabbing about?_

"I-I'm Jill! Nice to meet you!" she says after a pause. She's obviously excited, and thinking back on my first impression on the farm I wonder, _for what_? I bow slightly and offer to help her carry the bags that littered her hands.

"I couldn't bother you like that," she blushes, and I tilt my head to the side. I shake my head and yank the bags out of her hands, taking them over to her shabby house. She stays there stunned for a moment, and I stop dead in my tracks.

"…Are you coming?" I yell behind me. "I can't open your door with brute force, you know."

She runs past me and towards the house, and I gaze in amazement. Her actions were small and precise. It was almost …_cute_.

"I'm Chihaya," I say to her as I set the bags on the table. She turns on the television and begins to pack away the groceries in her small stone-colored fridge. Besides the television and kitchen, there wasn't anything else to her home. There was a door to my left, and I assumed it was the bathroom. "Please treat me kindly."

She stops her frantic shoving, and bows. "Yes, of course." she smiles. The ribbon on her head dips onto her face and she blows it away. "Would you like something to eat?" she mumbles nervously, and I chuckle.

"_Yeah, sure_."

She looks back her fridge and pulls out a carton of eggs. "Do you like Omelets?"

I didn't, but I wasn't about to tell her no. "I do," I lie.

She nods and goes to her kitchen, pulling out the utensils from a nearby cabinet. We're drowning in silence and awkwardness, and I clear my throat.

"How long you've been here?" I finally say."

She doesn't turn around. "Ah, I came here three days ago. Grandpa left yesterday." she bows her head down, and in a faint whisper I can hear the last part of her sentence. "He's sick…"

I gaze in her direction. "I-I'm sorry…"

She lifts her head and turns to me. "It's alright; he's going to get better."

"I'm positive."

She laughs and goes back to her cooking, adding spices and ingredients. I sigh and tap my finger on the table as silence overtakes us again.

"Master Luke says you're a great chef!"

I raise my eyebrows. "Why do you call him _master_?"

She stops, and tilts her head. "He said he was…" she laughs, scratching her head. "A very rich, very great traveler from the east. But secretly, he's a king from a far off land. He makes pretty girls call him Master Luke."

I roll my eyes. "Oh, jeez."

"I know. I could make me a sandwich with all that baloney."

I laugh. "…So, you fell for him?" I ask, and I immediately regret that words that come out of my mouth. 

"Eh? Why do you ask that?"

"…I-I dunno."

She gives me an 'I-don't believe you' look, but shakes it off and sets two plates on the wooden table. "Tomato omelets, as good as I could get them."

I take a small bite, and wince at the hotness. She blinks at me, blowing on hers first. I look away in embarrassment as she laughs, placing a small hand on her mouth. When the heat melts away, I'm left with a taste in my mouth.

"…This is amazing." I mutter, poking the omelets carefully. 

She blushes, nodding her head. "Secret ingredient."

"What is it?"

"Well," she chews thoughtfully. "The secret ingredient is… a secret."

I roll my eyes. "How are the people of the town treating you?"

"Well, _besides Luke_, most have been really kind. They're really happy that I'll be shaping up Grandpas' farm. As you saw before, it's kind of messy…" she raises her eyebrow. "Very messy."

"That's good. I… don't really pay attention to them myself."

"Ah, I knew you seemed lonely." she whispers, and covers her mouth. She stares at her plate.

"Lonely…?" I ask, intrigued. "Yes, well, you have a point. I've never been close to anyone. Except Luke. _Maybe_." I take another bite and sigh.

"I think… it's not fun to live the life you do," she states frankly, and I stare at her. "Lonely people, no matter how cold they act, just want someone around them. They want someone to break their barriers. There are different kinds of barriers and different kinds of ways to break them; but you Chihaya… You want someone to break you."

I choke on her words. I stare at her for a few moments more, and stand up. "I don't have to listen to this, do I?"

"…I shouldn't have had said anything."

"Maybe you should have. I'll be off now. Goodbye," I say, and head for the door. I hear her pleading from behind me and I can't focus on anything rather than her words. Her words—

The words that hit my barrier.

* * *

Having written the next chapter just now, it's pretty much drama!filled. So if you want it... reviews will get it there faster...

Thank you for reading, review please! :D


	3. All That Shines

The Art of Theft  
Chapter 3: All That Shines  
_It was then, he realized; that he wasn't wearing any pants._

* * *

I groan as I fumble on the sheets, turning slightly towards the open window. I rub my eyes with one free hand and use the other to pull the sheets over me. The bright sun stares me down; it's blinding. I didn't want think about anything. I couldn't think about anything. Not after the 'talk' I had with Jill yesterday.

Her words are bold and they stick to my head like glue. They're all I can think about, and I realize the truth in her words. There was something about them…

There was something about them that made me want to _change myself _for her.

"_Awaken_, _sleeping beauty_!" a voice semi whispers from my window, and my eyes snap open from under my sheets. It's _Luke_, and I can sense urgency in his creepy tone. I don't dare peek out from the sheets; I just wonder where the hell he came from.

"Oh Chiyo, don't tell me your sick. Do you need Nurse Luke…?" he knows this will get me out of bed and he's right. I throw the sheets off and race for the door. I glance at him for a millisecond, and declare him insane.

"…_Jill's worried_."

My hands fumble with the doorknob and I slow down my panic. My fingers lie on the handle for a while before resting my amethyst eyes on Luke. His hand was searching around my nightstand, and I run up to him, smacking his hand away.

He looks at me funny. "Oh my, Chiyo, I didn't know you cared about her so much."

I sigh, and rub my eyes off of their remaining sleep. "I don't. I'm concerned for a certain perverted fellow that likes to make gay jokes and stalk my windows." I raise my eyebrow, and fall down onto the bed. "What do you want _now_?"

"Seriously man, Jill's worried," his voice sounds surprisingly serious and I gaze at him with one eye. "She called me last night, and after confessing her love to me, she told me the whole story."

I throw a pillow at him. "You disgust me…"

He catches it with one hand and hops through the window. "What did you do to her?"

"…Nothing."

"Okay bonehead, I want you to fix this up and fix this up _now_. Besides… I have your new helper ready and accounted for, over at your Café."

My ears perk up. "Who'd you find?" I ask eagerly.

"…Mai."

My eye twitches. "…_I'm going to fucking kill you_!"

"Hey now! She's a good chef, isn't she?!"

"That's not the point! I'm talking about when I had to live up at the Inn with her for two months, she drove me insane. A while longer I would have shot myself."

"Well, you'll need help around the time of Date Night, because you'll be getting busy with Jill. And no, not in _that way._"

"I'm not going with Jill, I'd rather go with Gil—" Luke grinned, and I saw his mouth open. "—You give me one more gay joke and I'll suffocate you."

He laughs and shakes his finger at me. "Please, she's really worried about you. I dunno what kind of spell you put over her, you sicko, but please reverse it. My blue feather is up and ready to go."

He turns to the window and hops out, and I stare at him as he walks away. I shut the window tight, and begin making my bed.

"…Why doesn't he use the freaken' door?!"

* * *

I make my way through the town, smiling at people along the way. The townspeople give me strange looks as I smile at them, but it's as expected. Down the dirt roads, people begin to smile back, and a feeling bubbles within me.

"Why, good morning Chihaya." Leena bows, and begins tending the summer crops. I see her water nearby pineapples, and I catch myself smiling.

I make my way to my café, surprising people with a smile and a wave. I surprise myself. I wish _she_ was here to see this.

"Well now, hello Chihaya!" Ose grins as I pass him by. His huge, muscular hands find my own and he gives me a slightly rough handshake. He leaves the opposite way, and I enter my café.

* * *

"Chihaya! Hello!" Mai greets me, running towards me with a large stack of papers. "Luke told me about this job and it's really wonderful you wanted me to work here!" she hands me the papers, and I fumble. "Those are my work papers, all signed and ready to go!" she exclaims into my ear.

I nod politely and forcefully crack a smile. "_Good morning_, Mai."

She blushes, and my eyes widen as she lurches herself towards me. "Oh, Chihaya!" she swoons. I shake her off, but her grip is strong. A feeling swells in the pit of my stomach as I hear the café doorbell ring.

"…Oh, well I'll leave you two alone…" a voice comes from the entrance. I swiftly turn my head, recognizing the voice. I stare into Jill's usually soft brown eyes. Her flustered face shakes, and she stalks out the café.

"J-Jill!" I reach out, but Mai has me locked down in her grasp. I blink, and try to struggle free. To no avail, she grabs me tighter, and my breathing speeds. "Mai! Do you smell that in the kitchen? It smells like fire!" I yell, and she darts off toward it. I speed towards the door, gently closing it in my wake.

* * *

"Terribly sorry I witnessed that." Jill states utterly as I catch up her. Her face is still flushed, and I automatically reach for her arm. She gasps a bit, and I let go, embarrassed.

"Jill, have you met Mai? She's… she's psycho. Please, you have to believe me when I say it wasn't how it seemed."

"Luke… he told me you wanted to invite me to Date Night. I came here… to ask you. But now I'm not so sure. I have to get back to the farm now, I'll see you later."

My eyes widen, and I stare hard at her. "…You can't be serious!"

"I inherited a farm, and I have to take care of—"

"You can't be serious!" I repeat, and she turns around. We're face to face, and my slightly heavy breathing is the only thing audible in the serene village. "You were… going to invite me to Date Night?" I process. Somehow, it didn't seem right to me. Everything was going right for me, and I wasn't used to that. I knew, at that moment in time, it wasn't going to end up that way.

"I'm going back to the farm now. Farewell."

"So that's it?! You can take back something like that… just like that!?"

Jill starts walking slowly. My arm reaches for hers, but this time I stay there. "You can't leave just like that! There are so many things I have to tell you… You're impossible!"

"I'm impossible!? Look who's talking!" with that, she shrugs off my arm, and sprints off, leaving me dumbfounded. I slam my palm into my forehead, and silently curse everything that had transpired in a total of five minutes.

Everything was going right for me for once, but I guess things like that don't happen to people like me. Especially things like love.

So when I went back to the café and asked _Mai_ out to Date Night, I figured everything was screwed up enough to let it just run its course.

* * *

Do you know what I figured? ):  
I write in small quantities, haaahaaaaa...  
So that's why my chapters are short.

-blinkblink-

_Forgive me_! -cry-  
Seemingly how I probably wrote/planned most of this story out, I'll try to make the next one supa-long. :D

And y'know it'll be a ChiyoxJill. P:


	4. Someday My Prince Will Come

The Art of Theft  
Chapter Four: Someday my Prince Will Come  
_I'll run rivers for you.  
_

* * *

Summer, day_ sixteenth_.

The night approaches slowly, and an uneasiness stirs within me. So far, I had managed to piss off the one person I truly admired, and was going to spend an evening with a girl who drives me insane. To make matters worse, I still hadn't accounted for wearing the dress and the fact that I had received a letter stating that the Gourmet _was_ stopping by on the seventeenth and that he would indeed be judging my café, with me wearing my _little skimpy dress._

To make matters worse, Luke had been avoiding me as well. Unfortunately, Jill told him I was a no good low-down animal. She hadn't told anyone else, I'm glad, but Luke was truly someone big in my life, and he was gone— just like that.

I just couldn't stand Jill being angry with me; however I tried to deny it.

"Chihaya, you seem down…" Mai steps toward me, and I roll my eyes. Mai was the cause of my worries, but I didn't have the heart to fire her. Especially after I had invited her to Date Night. I pondered telling her about the dress in advance, but decided against it.

"I am." I simply reply, and my voice shakes.

"It is because of that girl that came in two days ago?" she half-whispers, and I can hear the hurt in her voice.

My eyes meet hers, and I blink. "How did you…?"

"You sent me off into the kitchen, but there wasn't a fire. When I came back, you were gone. Peeking out the windows… I saw you two."

I momentarily forgot the severity in this conversation as my eyebrow flared up. "You spied on me?"

"I was just curious!"

What was with this village and the amount of Peeping Toms it had? I pour myself a cup of coffee, its contents the same color as my mood— black.

"I've never seen you open up to someone like that before, and we lived together for two months. Do you remember? You probably forgot. I still remember; it was the best time of my life…"

My face falls, and I can't believe the things she's confessing to me. My hand finds hers, and I smile weakly at her. "Mai… I'm an idiot. I'm a retarded… _low down animal_," I chuckle, and sigh. "_But I'm in_…"

Her face perks up, and she shakes her head frantically. She silences me, placing her index finger on my lips. "Don't say it!"

My breath escapes my lips. "Huh?!"

"I know what you're going to say… But please. Until the night is over… Please be mine…"

My eyes blur, and I nod slowly. I'm weak. I sicken myself. I can't pretend something's not there, when it clearly beats within me. I can't pretend these feelings, even when I'd die to see her face, even when that face is deathly angry with me at the moment.

I'm an idiot. I'm a retarded low down animal; _but I'm in love with her._

* * *

Her _farm_ is shaping up.

There are a couple of crops in the fields, and after later inspection, damp with water. The flowers bloom gently, the smell they give; sweet toxic. I stand and smell their lovely scents as a dog runs past me, running over to its food bowl.

There is a sheep grazing next to a sole cow, and its fluff shines diligently in the morning dew. The cow grazing next to it is spotless— in the sense of cleanliness.

The lonely orange tree from before has two tiny sprouts next to it, and after closer inspection, they're more orange trees. Her house is still small as ever, but cleaner. The windows shine faithfully in the sun, and the wood had been restored to give a homey feel.

I'm _impressed_.

"Good mor—" a voice yells behind me, sounding a little dull. I turn and wave to a shocked Jill, who's holding something in her hands. My eyes concentrate on the object, a jar.

"You've… shaped up the farm pretty well." I murmur.

She glides right past me, marching towards her small house. I give a defeated sigh as I jog next to her, mimicking her face and body. She turns to me and heaves, and I do the same. Her mouth is agape now, and she crosses her arms. My arms fold neatly against my chest, and she gives up.

"Look you… what are you trying to do?"

I crack a smile; she's blushing. My face grows hot, and I too realize I'm doing the same. So much for mimicry. "I'm trying not to be an ass, but I'm going about it all wrong."

"You're telling me." She reaches atop her head for her ribbon, and unties it. I gaze at her as she reties it, more firmly this time. The birds above and the content cries of the farm animals echo in my ear. _It's awkward_.

I couldn't ask her to Date Night; I already asked Mai in my fit of rage. I wasn't about to go back on my word, but I just had to know—

"Are you going to Date Night?" I stutter, and shame fills me up inside.

Her eyes meet mine, and a breath of air escapes her lips. Her next answer kills me:

"_Yes."_

* * *

"_Luke_! Luke, damn it! Open up!" I yell, pounding hard on his house door. I pound hard enough to knock it open, but I manage to slump against it. My two fists stop, and I control my heavy breathing. "Luke, I have to talk to you!"

A silent verdict renders the house empty, and my heart dies a little more. A few more pangs like this and I'd feel completely dead. I already felt completely dead.

Suddenly, the door opens, and I topple over the space that opens up before me.

"_You've got five seconds_." Luke says, and he tilts his head to one side. His hand gestures inside his house, and I step in, following him.

"No way man, you _love _her?!" Luke exclaims, and he pours me a bit more tea. It's good, but I couldn't possibly focus on the food right now. We had been talking for less than two minutes when Luke started to open up. Pretty soon, he acted as if we were back to our old selves again.

"…I think I do." I reply meekly, raising both arms to the back of my head. His firm stare is unbearable. I look away.

"No man, you can't '_think_' you love her! It's you do or you don't, dude!"

I ponder, my arms falling to my sides. "I _love_ her, Luke." I gaze at the floorboards pathetically.

Luke stands up and paces around the room, munching on his homemade cookies. I plop one in my mouth too, chewing slowly while my eyes followed him. He turns to me, and shrugs.

"I'm sorry, Chiyo."

Mouthful of cookies, I choke a little and cough. I pound my chest and give him 'vulture eyes'. "What did you do Luke…?"

"I-I told her she could go with Gil to Date Night."

"You didn't!" I yell, and rise up from off the chair, dropping the cookies in my hand. He flinches.

"It's not my fault you were being an imperial ass!"

"Well, damn it! What… what now?" I fall to my knees, looking towards the slate blue ceiling.

"No, don't go woman on me Chihaya. You got to man up!"

"Luke…!"

"You gotta get back your girl!"

I realize the truth in his words, and laugh. I nod confidently, getting off my knees.

"I've got just the thing for you…" he winks, and the smug grin he places on his face is enough for me to panic about.

* * *

Hee, Luke is lyke mai BFF. He's soo my F3. :D  
The next chapter... is seriously long. O.oll

But don't account it to be _any good, _however, because I usually write at eleven or twelve when the sugar dies down and my sentences consist of "_et wot_!?"

So I herd u liek mudkips. :DD

Reviews make me smile; please share the loove! Thanks for readin'. :3


	5. On Target: Finale

The Art of Theft  
Chapter Five: On Target: Finale

* * *

"Damn Chihaya, you're looking mighty fine!" Luke whistles, and it's the beginning of the end. His eyes move up and down me approvingly, and he nods. "Oh my, is this the little girl I held in my arms just yesterday…"

I smack his hand away, watching as he reached to fix a piece of the fabric on the flamboyant dress. "_Cut it out_!" I yell, but to no avail, his hand pulls down hard on the back of my dress, nudging me backwards. "What the—!?"

Luke shrugs and begins adjusting the watch on his left hand. "The dress flares way too much at the back. If you bend over, your ass will be on public display."

"W-_what_ are you saying!?" I stammer, and back away towards the full-size mirror behind us. He points to the mirror— _directly at my ass_, and a quick glance in the direction confirms his absurd statement. The dress looked short on the hanger, but on me it was like trying to squeeze into a frilly plastic shopping bag.

"I got the dress from Juli," he admits meekly. He's beginning to doubt his purchase. "…Just, don't get harassed okay?"

My eyes narrow. "Is this your best advice?"

"Well, my best advice was going with Jill to Date Night, but you instead, go with Mai. The girl _you specifically_ told me _not_ to hook you up with." he rolls his eyes.

I click my tongue, and ignore him. I concentrate on fixing my slutty dress.

"So, wanna go over the plan again?" he grins.

My tongue hangs slightly over my bottom lip as I desperately reach for the zipper. "What plan? Idiot, there's no plan. I just want to tell her how I feel."

He stirs, and he sits upright. "What!? No stealing the bride away from Gil?"

"She's not _getting married_, Luke." I sigh.

"And if she was?"

I abort my zipper plan and clock around to face him. I'm grinning. "I'd just have to _steal her away_, then."

Luke laughs, and I join. "I'm rubbing off on you way too much, Chiyo."

"_Damn bastard_."

Luke gets up from his chair and goes towards the door. He leaves it ajar, and noise fills the storage room completely. I tilt my head towards the door. I can see a multitude of colors, streamers and food items. _Mai redecorated_; there's far too much pink.

I gulp nervously, and tug on my dress one last time. Luke nudges towards the door and smiles. "Coming?"

My breathing speeds and so does my heart. I can hear it throughout the noise in the other room, and I take a tentative step backwards. "I can't! I look… ridiculous."

Luke grabs me by the wrists and next thing I know, I'm standing. He drags me into the next room, and I receive immediate stares.

Tao whistles happily. "Luke, I'm so happy for you two!"

I clench my fists and stare at Tao. Luke waves his steady hand in my face, and I snap out of it. _I see her_. Oh dear Harvest Goddess, she's here!

_Jill_.

She's dressed in a semi-formal dress, and it's the color of my eyes. It's simple beauty, just like her. Her hands are adorned with tiny white gloves, and those tiny white gloves are adorned with _Gil._

Their fingers are laced, and my own hands itch for her warmth. Without giving it another thought, my feet glide me towards her, and yet my arms are stopped by unwanted heat. I swirl around, and Mai stares at my face. No, to put it correctly, she stares at my _dress_. It's not entirely her fault though; everyone is staring at the magenta wonder that was on my slender body.

"You're… you're…" she starts, and she can't even bring herself to finish. She's confused on whether to cry or laugh, I can tell.

"Wearing a dress," I finish. "Listen, if you have a problem with that… I understand."

She hesitates, but one look at the closeness between me and Jill is enough for her to make up her mind.

"_Let's dance_!"

She pulls me off to the multi-colored dance floor and I comply. My heart is still chasing after Jill, though.

* * *

I should have listened to those dance lessons Luke was giving to me earlier.

I have _no idea _what I'm doing.

Mai notices this, and she shakes one judgmental finger at me. Grabbing my hand, she places the other on her waist. "And then, take a step… like this… oh, you're a good dancer," she processes, looking down towards the floor to see if I'm doing it right.

I focus on the dancing, because she _is _my date and I did promise her.

"L-like this?" I ask nervously, and she laughs.

"That's right!"

The song plays for a little while longer, the slow rhythm growing slower by the second.

"Would you like punch?" I call out through the beat-heavy trance song that plays right afterwards, and she yells something back. I can't hear her, but I assume she agrees. I leave her there and walk towards the tables.

_No, I run_.

I drown myself with punch, and pray that it's been spiked. I receive more odd looks for the dress, and I flip them the bird. I gaze at the red liquid. The punch might have been spiked after all.

"So much for working on your people skills, eh?"

I cough, hand in face. "Oh. Well—" I rotate, the cups still in hand. "Jill! You…" I muster up the courage, but it fails. "Look beautiful."

She points at my dress and beams. "No, _you _are looking beautiful tonight."

"_Long story_. Probably, the longest and creepiest story in the whole damn world."

She giggles, and pours herself punch. "Luke told me your bet. I'd wear a dress for money too." she winks.

"You're a girl." I roll my eyes.

"And you're _looking _like a girl tonight. Oh, yeah… everyone can see up your skirt." she frowns, and she stands in back of me so I can pull it down.

Blushing red, I fix it quickly, and decide on my next few words. "Jill, can I—"

"—_dance with you_?" a voice interrupts, and it's Gil. He smiles innocently at me, and leads her off onto the dance floor. I had to wonder if he was being an ass, or truly clueless. I chug another cup of punch.

"Bravo, Chiyo, bravo." Luke whispers angrily from under the table. Isn't it the slightest bit creepy on how this boy pops up from nowhere!?

"Luke! Help… help me." I state pathetically.

"I can't, damn it! This is your story. Your life, and your Gourmet riiight behind you."

I gasp and swirl around. A little blond boy stares at me with questioning eyes. His purple suit matched the dark atmosphere of the room, but his huge purple top hat didn't.

"The names' Pierre. Eighth generation Gourmet. Chihaya? Owner of this café? Didn't… didn't Lucia say the owner was a male?" he shuffled through a few papers in his hand, but eagerly shrugged it off. "You're looking beautiful tonight, Madame Chihaya. I'll be honored to _taste anything_ your delicate hands have created."

_Oh God._

Things couldn't get any worse, could they? Things couldn't get any worse from a small little prepubescent boy hitting on you, your love dancing with another, and a crazy girl after your bones. It couldn't; it's against the laws of physics, or God or something like that.

* * *

As far as these shindigs go, it was simple. Walk in with a date, have fun, and leave. Bring the girl home, and celebrate your little 'victory' at home, eating lots of cake and drinking lots of fizzy soda. So far, it was the opposite. So far, it was one hell of a trip.

Here I was, feeding a _little kid _my cakes. He's sitting at the counter, scribbling down on his too-big-for-him notepad, and I'm at the oven, fussing over the café special— Chestnut Cake.

I quickly realized what this bozo was trying to do when he _'accidently'_ dropped his spoon on the floor, making me go down and get it. I was _not amused_.

"Here's the café special, a smooth texture and creamy melt-in-your-mouth insides—" I watched in disgust as he shoved it all in his mouth, nodding happily in approval. He scribbled in his notepad; I swear, he was _drawing or something_; and called forth the next dish.

"The next dish is poison," I said darkly, my eye twitching.

He stirred, still writing. "Hnn? What was that?"

"_Cocoa Pudding_."

* * *

"You… have very good taste, Miss Chihaya!" he yells happily after stuffing three main entrees, five desserts, and two beverages. "You're service is extraordinary, and recipes are top notch. An A!"

I grin in satisfaction. "Thanks, Pierre."

"But, you know… I could change that grade into an A plus if you…" he pauses, thinking of the words. "_Make extra time_."

I chuckle. "Oh really? How would that work for you?"

"Very well." he leans forward. "But, just the same for you…"

I quickly scan the room behind him for help. Luke was drooling over Cathy, Jill was dancing with Gil, and Mai was chatting away with Roomi. My gaze adverts to the mini!pedo, and his creepy-like serious expression makes me laugh.

"Okay, listen here. _I'm a man_," I utter, sipping on a nearby beverage. I grin, amused, as his face expression drops and reverts to horror. "You've been hitting on the owner of a full set of male naughty parts."

He's quiet, and the loud music beats above him. "What!? Are you saying!?" he yells, and quickly backs away from me.

"Chill, I didn't confess my love for you or anything…" I mock, and snap my fingers. "Oh, that's right! But _you did_!"

"You…! _You_!"

The music stops, and I fixate on his pitiable appearance. His shoulders ached backwards, and his mouth was fully open. Everyone turns to his loud unfathomable blabbing, and I sigh in defeat. My mouth opens to say something—

"I'm going to give you the _worst_ review ever! You… pervert!"

"_Ironic_."

He continues screaming, and it looks like a temper tantrum. "You're a horrible person! Such… such a person doesn't need to exist!"

"_That's not true_—!"

That was it. A voice; her voice. It echoed mysteriously in the dim lighted room, and I stared behind Pierre in slight shock. Everyone turned to the speaker, who was red with embarrassment.

"I…" she whispered, and I stirred.

Jill, standing alone on the dance floor, took a tentative step backwards. She let her arms fall to her sides, and the dangling was the only source of movement in the room.

"Oh— God!" she mumbled as she covered her mouth and ran towards the exit. Gil followed suit, but Mai cut in front of him. She sheepishly smiled at everyone in the room and signaled the DJ to play.

"_Uh… technical difficulties._" she explains.

* * *

Mai stepped into the clearing, the moonlit path ignited by woodland sounds and objects. She stepped over a sapling, carefully sidestepping over the rebirth of the petals, the leaves; of life. She found Jill sitting on a nearby box, staring at the sapling in apprehension.

The ground crackled under Mai's feet, and Jill whipped at the sound.

"What was that?" Mai giggled, trying to make the situation less dense. Jill smiled; it was working.

"I… haven't got a damn clue."

"Well, it was pretty obvious."

Cue, a raising of the eyebrow. "What?"

"Your feelings, silly. F-for Chihaya!"

"I would never do that to you." Jill stated outright, folding her arms over her chest. She slowly opened her eyes and racked her brain for another argument. "Plus, he's an _ass_."

"An ass in a very… _exotic_ dress."

"An ass is an ass, no matter how you sugar coat it."

"But a crush is a crush, love is love, and denial is denial. You, dearest Jill; have a bad case of all three. And Chihaya has the best dosage of trying to please everyone at once. Oh, and retardation. He's also mentally ill."

"I don't get it. How was he pleasing everyone? He was just pleasing himself."

"He—" she pauses, and is unsure of whether she wants to accept the truth in her next words. "Has things to tell you. A lot of things. It wouldn't be right if I said the things he's got to say to you but… But, he wanted to keep his word to take me to Date Night. He's an _idiot_ like that."

"If he had something to say, wouldn't he have said it already?"

"Like I said; the boy is as dense as lead," Mai smiles, and steps up off the floor. "See for yourself." Dusting her knees, she quickly leaves the clearing, leaving a confused Jill in her wake. Crackling of leaves disturbs the morbid silence.

"_Chihaya_…?" Jill murmurs, tensing at the sight of me.

"I guess I truly _am_ quite the idiot." I mumble, and shyly stride into the moonlight clearing. I take a deep breath of air, and realize this would be the only time to set things right.

"Jill…" I continue. "… I was the biggest ass in denying it… hiding it… God knows why I even asked Mai out today. Maybe I was trying too hard to avoid something that actually takes work. But it's okay now; because my barrier is ready to be taken down already. I don't need barriers. It's funny, how something like pride can hold back your feelings but… I don't need pride: I want you. I need_ you_. Damn it, _won't you be mine_?"

"Wha…!?"

"Likewise, I'm _scared_." I look towards the stars, hoping they'd tell me what to do.

Jill looks up at me incredulously, and she's puzzled. The pout on my face confuses her more.

"I'm scared that I'll only hurt you, like I did before. It'll probably happen again." My eyes find hers.

She stands up and walks around me. "It's okay," she turns. "Even if I… or we; get hurt once in a while, its okay 'cause these are _my _feelings too, so I know there is no deceit. You might not be _prince charming_, and I may not be a _princess_, but I know we'll have a fairytale ending."

"Hopefully not a Romeo & Juliet ending," I laugh.

She giggles, but still walks away. "I… owe a dance to a certain blonde boy. Do you mind?"

I shake my head, still blushing. She leaves the clearing, and I still gaze in the direction of my _almost princess_.

* * *

God damn it, he's _still_ here.

The little runt of a Gourmet was still at the counter, eagerly scribbling in his pad. The noise his angry pencil makes irks me, and my feet glide over to him. He looks up when I arrive, and moves one seat over.

I roll my eyes. "Okay, how old are you again? Five? Seven?"

He doesn't catch the sarcasm. "Nineteen!"

"R-_really_!?" I gasp, sincerely surprised.

Mai's voice suddenly echoes through a microphone and everyone's gaze follows her voice. "Aright, it's time for the last dance! Everyone grab your date—" her angry eyes find mine and I gulp. "—and enjoy!"

I watch as Gil strides up to her and bows, chucking as he leads her to the dance. Well, he stole my date and I stole his. It's only fair.

"I'm done here!" Pierre shouts, and he clicks his pen with satisfaction. He jumps off the stool and heads for the door, but I stop him in time.

"Wait! What… what did you give me?"

"I said I gave you an A."

"But…"

"Do you not want an A?"

"I'm not saying—"

"If you want to maintain your grade, you don't speak of this again. Or me, for that matter. _Stupid cross dresser_."

I grin. "Thanks. You know… if you're ever in town…"

He majestically raises his hand in defeat. "I'm out of here!"

I laugh and he walks out, a bit flustered. He was actually a good person, despite the magnitude of the prank I pulled on him. I heard someone giggle behind me, and I turned to see Luke and Cathy. Luke slug his arm around Cathy, and she giggled again. They were obviously drunk.

"Hey babe, go over to the dance floor—" he hiccupped. "And be a good girl?"

She nodded and staggered off, tripping over her high-heeled boots. I stared at Luke disbelievingly and he innocently shrugged. He cup of wine he held in his hands spilled as he shook.

"I didn't know we even had wine, Luke."

"Wus _need_. I mean; was needed." He slurred.

I face-palmed. "I did what you told me to do."

"Re-really!?" His face lit up.

"I… _stole the bride_ _away_."

The loud, ridiculous clapping that emerged from Luke made me laugh loudly; especially when he doubled over and fell flat on his ass, wine cup and all. I helped him to a table: and he began to seduce Kotomi, receiving menacing looks from Juli.

* * *

The soft music that adds ambience to the room, the soft lights, the cheerful smiles; it was beginning to shape up to be a normal Date Night again. I look at the small crowd, at each of their bright faces and sigh: It was a good night. Suddenly, Jill walks into my view, and she holds her arm tight, biting her lip. She's alone, there's no one even in a two feet radius from her, and I slowly stroll towards her.

"Did blonde boy go invisible, or something?"

She shakes her head, sighing. "Because he looks so invisible dancing with Mai, right?"

I frown. "You sound jealous."

"And what if I am?"

"Well; I'd be jealous."

She wraps her hands around my shoulders and laughs, and I do the same with her waist. I use my newfound dancing skills, and we're gradually enveloped by silence.

"You know Chihaya…" she begins. "I didn't tell you how pretty you looked in that dress, right?"

I make a face. "Don't even start with that."

"As easily as you put it on, you can take it off."

I blink. "That's suggestive… You're going to steal my dress?"

She frowns. "Well, it's a trade-off. You stole my heart, I steal your clothes."

"Thief."

"That isn't a good _thing or a bad thing_."

I laugh, and dig my face in the nape of her neck, and she places her head on my own. We still sway to the music, and the chatter around us fades.

"_I love you, almost princess_."

"_I love you, almost prince._"

* * *

  
I admit! I was really sloppy with this chapter. P:  
Like really. As in, the POV kept switching in and out. Et wot. Flame as much as you'd like.  
But still, I like some of the dialouge I typed here... (pretty much it)

Dedicated to **PROLOUGE** because she was pretty much the only one waiting for all chappies and is uber-awesome. :D

REVIEWZ WILL GET CHIHAYA'S DRESS OFF. :DD


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